When something feels scary or new, it’s so easy to revert to old habits, talk ourselves out of things, and hold ourselves back.
In this video, I show you the process to release old thought patterns in order to make space for the new.
The video was filmed as I decluttered my life and got rid of a bunch of junk. The process was particularly helpful, as I grew up in a very frugal household where we saved as much as possible. We never god rid of something if it had potential value in the future.
That mindset still rules my behavior from time to time, especially during this big overhaul. Over the course of a month, I followed the process multiple times until I got rid of everything I wanted. It felt oh-so-good!
The process can be used for any limitation, blockage, hesitation, or crazy thought.
It’s a way to re-program your brain so it actually works WITH you instead of against you.
Here’s the process:
1.) Identify your default thought, belief, or habit (the one you want to change).
2.) Get clear on the reasons why the old thought, belief, or habit does not serve you
3.) Clearly articulate the new desired thought, belief, or habit.
4.) Get clear on the reasons why the new thought, belief, or habit does serve you.
5.) Re-write your belief – affirm the new belief to yourself until you feel it and believe it. Talk to yourself about it! Hype yourself up. No shame here!
6.) Double down on your clarity of how the new thought, belief, or habit is for your greatest good. Continue to affirm it until you feel confident. This step can span a few hours or days and will likely need to happen multiple times.
With a little bit of practice, you’ll have it down in no time. xo
Often times, we have immense clarity around the happenings of everyone else in our lives except for ourselves.
To many of us, life feels out of control or like we can’t handle what is coming our way.
In this video, I offer some questions you can ask yourself next time you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
It can be incredibly enlightening to pretend for a moment that the situation is happening to someone else in your life (instead of you). By making the space to ask these questions, you are opening yourself up to a whole new perspective to help you regain your composure.
1.) If this was happening to somebody else, what would I be able to see in this situation that I can’t see for myself?
2.) Are there other emotions that I could be feeling about this?
3.) Are there other possibilities, other potential reactions, that I could have to what’s going on in my life?
For as long as I can remember, failure has been something that is avoided at all costs.
The mainstream connotation of the word failure suggests that we have done something terribly wrong and that we are at the end of the road.
If we fail, we fear the loss of life as we know it to be right now. Financially, romantically, among our friends. The list goes on.
The fear, the perception, around what it means to fail is so great for most of us that it holds us back from trying anything outside of our “tried and true.”
But what is failure, really?
The way I perceived it was as follows: the word failure suggested there was nothing worthwhile that came from the cause of the journey to the failure, and that the failure in and of itself has no value.
Failure is defined as the lack of desired success or not meeting the desired outcome.
Are there ways we fail every day that we are blind to or choose to not see?
And what is success? What does it mean to be successful?
Many of us default to believing success means having all the things.
(That’s what the mainstream tells us, anyway.)
Few of us take the time to explicitly redefine success for ourselves in our adulthood, which leaves us on a path to something vague and intangible that never quite feels like enough.
How ever we define success, is it possible the mainstream connotation of the word is incomplete?
Success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
If we haven’t explicitly redefined the meaning of success for ourselves, in all aspects of life, is there one specific date when the vague success can be achieved, and if not met, the entire effort was a failure?
In this situation, if success is a goal we are always shooting for in the distant future, it’s now more of a journey than a vague destination (that we never seem to reach).
Ask yourself the following 4 questions designed to help you redefine it all for yourself:
I desperately believe the world needs more love and kindness.
I deeply want to raise the collective conscious vibration to help save us – all of us. Humanity, the animals, the plants… the planet! Everywhere I turn, it seems like we are heading towards a very scary potential. Our soil is depleting, the sea levels are rising, weather is getting more extreme, and global tensions seem to always be on the rise.
However, I believe it can all be reversed and avoided – one person at a time.
I believe we are all way more alike than we are different. I believe at our core, we all want the same things.
Unfortunately to most of us, it doesn’t feel that way at all.
Achieving my vision starts with the love we have inside for ourselves.
When we Put Ourselves First, we’re more clear on what brings us Joy. When we’re clear on our Joy, we naturally exist in a space of love and light. We ooze that love and light to everyone around us and it creates a ripple effect through the whole world.
Small waves and vibrations build and build until they add up to something much bigger than ourselves.
If we all become the CEOs of our own lives led by love, light, and kindness, we are able to harness and direct our innate divine power so much more effectively.
Back in the fall of 2021, I was invited to speak for an insurance industry networking group that believes Self-care is Healthcare.
How great is that? I’m so glad insurance industry folks get it!
The request to speak has evolved into a 6-class series that will take place throughout 2022, which teaches attendees all about becoming the CEO of your own life.
Being the CEO of your own life means you behold your life as your booming business. Your successful startup. Your baby. Your passion project.
As CEO, you have the autonomy and power to choose what is best for your life. You have a vision for your life and the drive to make it happen. You are unapologetically true to your mission and make decisions in a decisive, empowered manner.
You inspire yourself through your own success and constantly outdo yourself. You control your own growth. And, there is nobody who can take it away from you.
That is what it means to be the CEO of your own life.
The first step to become the CEO of your own life is to Put Yourself First, the class that just dropped on my site today.
I believe that every human should be putting themselves first in order to give more of our very best to everyone around us. Did you catch my last post about 12.5%?
Essentially, we are only using 12.5% of our max energy on a daily basis. (Check it out here.)
So, if you’ve been vibing with my thoughts lately, I highly recommend you sign up for this class.
I teach my 3-step process to Put Yourself First, which was developed over the last decade of research, client work, and my own personal experiences as well.
Sound interesting?
Consider this – if you identify with any of the following, you’ll love this class:
• You want things to change in your life. • You want your mindset to change. • You want to be true to you but you’re not sure how. • You want to feel good about being true to YOU. • You want to stop beating yourself up. • You want the strength to overcome all of the reasons why you “can’t” – why you shouldn’t do what feels right, – why you shouldn’t go after what you want, – why you should stay in your lane and keep your head down.
Yes, yes, yes!?
The class also comes with a 4 page PDF handout with questions, examples, and homework from the material. I’ve designed this masterclass for those of us who are ready to make real changes in our lives.
Here are the objectives covered in the masterclass: • Learn why People Pleasing is your #1 Enemy • Uncover the mystery of how to make sustainable change in your life • Feel good about being true to you • Feel like you’re truly in control of your life • Learn how to bring your BEST to the world in your own unique way
This class is not only infused with all the love and space that I create for my 1:1 clients, but you also get to experience a little bit of what coaching is like.
Truthfully, coaching happens on your terms. The journey is entirely designed by you. I just nudge you along the way by sprinkling in wisdom, insight, perspective, and of course, love!
So, what are you waiting for? Sign up today to get started!
The class will be delivered to your inbox and it’s yours to watch whenever, wherever you want.
Recognizing my emotions: I have been getting so frustrated lately with the people closest to me all of the sudden not wanting to take my advice. These are the same people who regularly used to listen to my perspective.
But that’s the thing, they don’t want my advice. And that’s NOT what I give as a coach.. As a coach I give space and perspective. See, some people have been worried or concerned that they would get Coach Kerstie instead of Friend Kerstie. What’s most hilarious to me is: I am a much better friend as a coach than I am as a friend.
Let me explain.
The evolved version of Kerstie embodies a Coach wholly. She is the Kerstie who I have re-programed my life to be/become and rid herself of as much ego as possible so then, she may serve others.
The Kerstie who “is a friend that gives advice” is her ego-dosed, biased, wounded, emotionally traumatized version of Kerstie before evolution into higher consciousness. This version is emotionally broken, constantly seeking “something else” in her life, and tends to get very angry.
Yes, she still exists. She makes a peep sometimes, but I know how to console her.
Tonight, I realized I was being her again. It wasn’t for long – this time, just a day where I didn’t put myself first (I failed to shower before my niece got up – I was babysitter today – and still haven’t). Although I did choose joy (soaked up some rays at naptime), I didn’t feel like the CEO of my own life.
This balance we have been seeking: work/life. (can you have it all?!?) Can be visualized as a tripod – it’s my (secret weapon to happiness) process that allowed me to believe in myself. It’s the process I followed to make each and every hard decision I came up against.
I had to learn how to choose myself.
I had to stop blaming, blah blah blah:
It’s KPMG’s fault, I had to work extra and didn’t get my weekend day.
It’s my manager’s fault because we weren’t allowed to leave, but I didn’t try to clarify hours at all
Literally soooooo many more of these…
(sidenote – are you ready to see the literal shift in my brain to the next topic? I didn’t edit, lol)
TEAMWORK IS ABOUT THE ME BECAUSE THE ME NEEDS TO BE ITS BEST FOR THE GOOD OF THE WHOLE.
GREAT LEADERSHIP PLAYS ON EVERYONE’S STRENGTHS, NOT THEIR
WEAKNESSES.
IF ONE TEAM MEMBER IS HANDLING SOMETHING ONLY THEY CAN DEAL WITH, THE REST OF THE TEAM SHOULD BE RELEASED TO TEND TO THEMSELVES. TAKE A PIT STOP.
MAKE SURE THEY’RE READY TO grab the baton when it’s their time.
I have seen WAY too much leadership that I think is deeply flawed.
Our LEADERS should be the calm in the storm. They should be dedicated, compassionate healers, who truly consider themselves a sacred vehicle to direct an immense amount of energy.
Many things we do in this modern life seem to take a great amount of energy from us.
(How many of you LOVE your bosses?? I believe I rest my case.)
In my latest masterclass, I discuss in a very real way what our currently flawed societal operating procedures look like.
It’s a BOLD claim. I’ll tell you in short – I essentially state that I believe we spend the majority of our days operating around 12.5% of our energy potential.
If you’re like, “what the f… I barely have the energy to read this,” just try to fathom how much energy, joy, bliss, happiness, peace, gratitude, connectedness, presence, and time you are missing.
I propose we choose a radically new way of life.
I follow Love, it is my Light.
I feel love in every space of my life. The peace, presence, and gratitude it brings is my goal every single day.
The majority of these days, I truly feel like I reach my daily goals.
I’m proposing, to anyone who has ever thought I am a cool human, that we make an investment in really, truly, shifting our state of consciousness to a god-like being and radiate love at all times.
What would that be like…
If we all believed in a purpose of Love, Light, Happiness, Peace, and Tranquility?
If we shed the rules – if we forgot the way we’re “supposed to act” and just try this on for a minute, think about it.
A new way of BEing with ourselves, that is truly on purpose, in control of our own destinies, and led completely by LOVE.
Imagine your child, your pet, or your perfect ray of sunshine in your life. That ability to be so innocent, that truly happy, kind, generous, sweet, silly, loving version of themselves, or maybe/hopefully, ourselves.
What I’m saying is what if you were able to implement all the most positive, best habits that truly support your happiness, joy, and bliss, all day long. Every day. Your most relaxed state of being. Your most true, raw version of yourself; heart open to the world around you.
The feeling that everything is safe. You are safe.
There is nothing wrong with living with a different mindset.
Perception is everything, right? We make our own realities as great or as awful as they are.
We’re constantly speaking things into fruition.
All the things that suck, that we hate, that have control of our lives… there is another perspective.
All the things that are currently perfect. The simplest parts of your life, even, are so wonderfully perfect. Like your breath. Your chance for another tomorrow.
Your opportunity to choose better. To do, differently.
To make your thoughts, beliefs, and actions perfectly aligned to serve you in your best way.
If you had all the tools, everything you needed.
If you were fully supported, loved, desired, welcome, appreciated, and cared for.
My love, you can provide a reality of that for yourself even within alllllll of the chaotic sh** going on in your life. It can all start to feel better tomorrow, even today, if you practice my process for putting yourself first. This is the first step, the baby step! That starts welcoming a new perspective to take over.
Something that we currently hope to happen in the future… We just have to start right now with a baby step.
I could prescribe you with the advice of my favorite way to do it, but that’s not necessarily going to be your favorite way of existing, obviously. (I’m eccentric, I admit it.)
So, instead I follow the steps to help you locate one specific change you want to make at a time. It’s totally designed by you, navigated by you, narrated by you, but sprinkled with the knowledge, wisdom, and love from me. In my thoughtful way.
I have had a crazy amount of people tell me recently: “I feel so calm when I leave your presence.” “You are so relaxing to listen to.” “You make me feel so certain of myself and inspired.”
These are the things I have always wished someone would say to me. I feel giddy when I receive these compliments.
In my past-life (read: until I was like 26 and not present), I never, ever, thought people liked being around me. So, to go from thinking my future was to never be liked by anyone, to it actually being: I am loved by everyone around me… that seems, impossible.
The tipping point, if you like that analogy, was when I truly began to calm myself. To relax myself; to inspire myself. I became who I wanted to be, for myself.
I thought I would be the only one to ever benefit from it, because my future was to be alone. I’m talking romantically, but also heavily to be a life sparse of friends and family as well.
So, I did it for me.
I decided I wanted it, and chose it every day.
I made honoring myself my “most important thing to do today.”
The results are better than I could have ever imagined.
I’m teaching my 3-step process to do exactly that, for yourself, in my Masterclass on Wednesday.
The video drops into your inbox that morning and you have access forever. It’s yours to watch, rewatch, and use as your “weekly journal” or self-care activity. Your companion to your glass of wine/beer/tea/booch. Your time that’s been blocked off for whatever you want to do.
Kick your feet up and watch something that’s going to pay you back for your time.
If you sign up for my Masterclass before Wednesday, you get a special extra pre-prep exercise. You’re investing in yourself, and that sh– provides dividends. So double down and pre-game for your dreams this way – by going on a speed date with yourself. (It drops in your inbox after payment.)
Since this is my first class, I’m celebrating. I’m going to let the sale run another 2 days. Get the class for $65, which is $1.08 per minute. And you’re going to get a ton out of this. It’s all about what you put in.
I’m not offering some bullsh– scheme so I can get you to work with me and sell what I sell.
I want to help you figure out what the f*** you want and then go get it – eye of the tiger shit. I play to win.
Go sign up for my masterclass. I love you, I want better for you, and I know you do, too.
Do you want your #goals life to be yours badly enough for $65?
Lol, what else do we easily spend $65 on…? Pizza and Beer during a game, or like, a pair of yoga pants?
When we release our control of the future and choose instead to control right now, that’s when what we want comes to us.
At that point, we’re not just sitting and waiting and wishing it will happen, we’re opting to deploy our internal divine creative spirit to have and create what we are hoping, wishing, and waiting for right now. We are taking the necessary steps to get our mindset and default way of being closer to what we want.
We are creating the environment that is conducive to having what we want. We are welcoming it to the party with open arms. We’re being a great host.
Did you get the job you have today by sitting on your couch and waiting for it to happen? OR, instead, did you go to school, send in your resume, talk to the necessary contacts, and interview with the company to land the position?
Yes, the answer is yes. You created the perfect scenario for your goals to invite themselves to the party and feel totally at home.
Human beings are manifesting all day every day, it just depends on what we’re focused on.
If we focus on the bad, the things we don’t like, and how awful our current situation appears to be, it’s like putting it under a magnifying glass. It gets bigger. It replicates. It intensifies. So, therefore, if we instead put that energy toward the dream, vision, and best-case scenario, universal law tells us that we will start to experience more and more of that as our effort builds.
We have to focus on the good that we have right now.
Did you ever buy a new car, thinking you were so fresh for getting that car, and the next day you magically see it everywhere? It’s not like the whole world went to the dealership overnight – your perspective, perception, and reality has just shifted.
In mid-January, I decided to really put this to the test. I believe that if I want something I’ve never had, I must do something I’ve never done. Leap and the net will appear!
I decided to get rid of a bunch of junk and move the rest of my things in storage so I could be free. Truly free from my chains. Free to hit the road, no plans, and see what happens.
You read that right. No plans.
Jump and letthe Universe catch me, I reasoned. I didn’t just put my full, blind faith into hoping and waiting and wishing for the Universe to catch up. I put my faith into action in myself. Into my own power to manifest what I desire by fully appreciating what I have now.
I believe in, trust, and love myself enough to live to my full potential now. I am truly taking advantage of and appreciating the opportunities I have right now. I am creating the space for what I want to plop itself down, right in the middle of my pathway. It will because it will, because I’ve created the space for it to.
In a way, I’m being a gineua pig for the non-believers.
I’m putting my theories to the test and real-time posting about my journey on Instagram. I’m on a mission to build my empire and everyone is invited to watch me. Sure, I could theoretically do this from home, but that doesn’t deeply excite me. Being on the road, does.
What does excite me is the opportunity to meet completely new people in an organic way, every day. My impact on others as a human being and coach is multiplied a million times in person, I figured, what better way to impact more people than going on a physical journey while I share the spiritual and entrepreneurial journey online?
DISCLAIMER! I’m not at all suggesting you follow my path.
My path is MY path, it’s meant for me. I’m many years into creating the life of my dreams. This scenario has been something I deeply desired for my journey since I was very young. My goal is to share my insights with you so you can hopefully make massive impacts in your life as well. For those of you who know me and have met me, and realize that I’m just a regular human, hopefully you can see that your dreams are just as possible.
I’d like to leave you with one thought. One thing to reflect on and use as a tool today to keep progressing toward your goals. Ask yourself –
What is one thing that I can do now to make what have I been wishing, waiting, and hoping for feel more welcome when it reaches me?
P.S. If you’re looking for personalized direction on your path of manifesting greater things for your future, look no further than my first masterclass, Put Yourself First (click here)! This class teaches you how to take a huge leap forward on your path – I know you will love it as much as I do!! Class Objectives: • Uncover the mystery of how to make sustainable change in your life • Feel good about being true to you • Feel like you’re truly in control of your life • Learn how to bring your BEST to the world in your own unique way
Until the past few years, I was a chronic people pleaser. I could never make my own decisions unless I received someone’s buyoff or approval. Literally anyone, sometimes I didn’t even need to know the person. My mind was theoretically caged.
Then one day, I decided. I decided to start exploring outside of my cage. I stopped freaking out, regained my cool, and poked my head outside to see if anyone would notice and quickly put me back in my place of constant worry and panic.
Nobody did.
So, what happened? What did I do? How does someone just 180 their life and perspective?
I started stepping into my own power. I started making calm, centered decisions in baby steps. A decision on an ice cream flavor got so much easier. The decision to workout became a joyous “yes” rather than an “ohhh no.” Eventually, eventually, even picking out an outfit got easier!
Tip: if you’re looking to make a radical change to your life and your mindset, start with something small! Make it your #1 priority every day & do it for a month. Here are some examples: 1. Start your morning with 5 minutes of meditation and affirmations. First thing when you wake up, set a timer and begin to breathe deeply as you recite your favorite affirmations. 2. Do 5 push-ups or sit-ups every day. 3. Each night before bed, lay out everything you need for the following morning, including your outfit for the day. Set yourself up for success. 4. During lunch, ask yourself, “how can I be more present right now?”
Making the decision to embark on a journey for self-freedom and living out my values brought the most joyous peace to my life. It started as tiny little moments, seriously just glitches in time, but really quickly evolved into larger stretches. Now, I actually wake up incredibly happy every morning – even when hungover, surprisingly.
I carry significantly less doubt, worry, and stress and significantly more confidence, joy, and pep.
Love, kindness, and compassion are the three pillars I uphold as I navigate the world.
These words are not just values I aspire to, but they truly govern 90% of what comes out of my mouth and my mannerisms. Everything comes back to love. I approach every interaction as if I truly love the person I am talking to (I’m talking about family love). This causes me to speak with more kindness and creates the space for the same compassion I would have for a sibling or a cousin. After enough practice, this approach became effortless and second nature.
Tip: write down some of your core pillars and begin to consciously practice them! – Consider the people you admire – what qualities do these people exemplify? Choose words you feel aligned with and excited to define yourself by. – Write them on post-its and put them in places where you will see them daily, like on your bathroom mirror, on the fridge, and near a light switch. – Make it a habit to consider these principles before you interact with anyone, and take note of how it changes the way you present yourself.
The fact that I achieved so much release the last few years despite working in a career that I hated, to me, speaks volumes of the potential within meditation, movement, and sound. The best part is that it can be modified and customized for each and every person practicing.
Whether these elements are combined in one experience or multiple, involve props or not, or are practiced solo or in a group, the lifestyle that accompanies the conscious practice of these elements is incredibly rewarding. For me, this includes quiet meditation moments, yoga, and sound baths but for someone else it could include self-reflection, running for distance, and podcasts.
Connecting back to ourselves, who we are, and the values we believe in brings us back to earth.
Tip: mix more meditation, movement, and sound into your life! – Consider what different types of meditation work for you. Do you like guided meditations, chanting mantras, mindfulness, or visualization? Don’t stop exploring here – there are so many forms of meditation available! I personally listen to my own voice recordings of my affirmations. – Do you exercise? Are you excited about your exercise? Maybe it’s time to switch it up. A long walk around the neighborhood can work magic, but there are other options if it’s not your thing! Yoga, high-intensity workouts, or running around the block are all highly effective. I personally mix it up with something different every day! – Music is vibration, and vibration is everything. (I’m talking about physics, here.) Consider the music you listen to. Try something upbeat. I personally love Jason Mraz and Toni Jones.
I hope you try out these tips and let me know how your progress is going in the comments!
For real, I can’t hear one more thing about discipline. I have real beef with this word. It’s a word that I think we misunderstand… I think we overuse, confuse, and are wrongly obsessed with: discipline.
Since it’s a new year, nearly everyone I follow who has posted about their goals has mentioned that it is going to take “discipline” to achieve them. This is a complete misunderstanding and actually is the opposite of what you should do when going after what you want.
I could talk about this for days.
But we do this type of shit a LOT. We misunderstand and confuse, and are catapulted into left field.
Kerstie Blue 